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Tuesday, November 2nd, 2004
10:26 pm - sweet
That's right. I am hott. Watch me sizzle.

I am Al-Aziziyah, Libya!
Which Extremity of the World Are You?
From the towering colossi at Rum and Monkey.

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4:31 pm - VOTE
I would hope that anyone who may come across this journal has enough sense to make a decision as to the leadership of this country. Please, please, please get out and vote. weather or not you vote democrat or republican (shudder) just vote. Personally, I will be voting for senator Kerry. I think my sister in law said it best when she told a lady who asked her if she wanted this country to return to way things were when Clinton was President: " Well. Let's see, I had a job and health care when Clinton was president. So I guess, yeah." touche. Rock the vote people.

current mood: anxious

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Monday, August 23rd, 2004
3:37 pm - urge to kill rising
You know me. I hate to be a buzz kill, but today is most certainly not my day. Maybe it's because
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You know me. I hate to be a buzz kill, but today is most certainly not my day. Maybe it's because <a href="<a href="">mercury is in retrograde</a> But EVERYTHING is going wrong. I arrived home yesterday from a lovley weekend in the woods with my lovely friends on a lovely, albiet slightly drizzly, sunday to my half naked (par for the course) son standing at the door with one severely puffy allergenic eye. "Hi mommy" he says to me. "we're trying to catch a mouse". AWESOME!!! insert sarcasm here. I think <a href=>Deb</a>says it best. So far this is the best thing that has happened since I've been back. I dropped my elder son of for his first day of Kindergarten This morning wherein I suffered a minor meltdown. I congratualted myself for waiting until I reached the hallway before losing it. I'd have hated to embarass him on his first day of school. There will be plenty of time for that in his teenage years. The sky is overcast and rainy and it is cold. I just captured a <a href=">Hobo spider</a> in my basement. And everyone I have had contact with has been met with emotion ranging from mild irritation (IRRITATED) to the almost overwhelming desire for me to beat them sensless with a blunt object. Let us all send silent prayers that mercury resumes it's normal course without further incident. Amen.

current mood: irritated

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Monday, November 10th, 2003
5:15 pm - Beware, lest her majesty call for your head.
Boy am I feeling Bitchy. My internet has been giving me nothing but trouble today. I have had to unplug the modem and restart like five times today. Is it too much to ask that i just sit here and check my copious e-mail in peace? Why, oh why can't I get anything to go my way this week? Here is a list of things for me to bitch about:

I recently lost a check in the amount of $175. Vanished. This is extremely troubling.

Ryan (see photo below) and I started the South Beach Diet. (Sort of like Atkins but more liberal. You know how I hate those damn republican diets.) He started before me and It seemed to really work for him, so I gave it a shot. The good news is it seems to be working. The bad news is I would kill somebody for an Icy cold Coca Cola. But "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels!!" Vomit.

I very nearly burned my house down to the ground today. I was heating up some "chicken" nuggets for the offspring this afternoon. I forgot about them and left the house to go pick up Max from school. I was gone for roughly 40 minutes before I remembered them. Up on my return my house was smoky and smelled something like burning rubber. No flames though so I guess I shouldn't complain. I just really, really hate it when I do stupid things.

My skin is so dry, I think I could sand down my furniture using only my hands.

In the great transition to OS X.3, all of my itunes playlists were lost. I had some really great mixes. sigh.

My Brain is not working right. I know I am forgetting all sorts of stuff. I am a little overbooked this month, and I know that some of these things are going to come back to haunt me soon. If only I could remember what it was...

OK. I'm done now. I promise I will post again when I am in a better mood. I'm making turkey for dinner which is currently smelling very good and making me feel a little better. (it is also overpowering the smell of burnt nuggets) Now if only I could have some stuffing and potatoes to go with it.....

current mood: bitchy

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Wednesday, November 5th, 2003
9:33 am - At long last
I am in such a good mood today! It would seem that after years and years of conservative bumbling, things are taking a turn for the better in this backwards little town. last night Dave Bieter (!!!a democrat!!!) was elected Mayor of Boise. Of course, I realize that this is a non-partisan race. However, this whole state is so painfully republican a democrat as mayor of the capital city can only help.
I am in such a good mood today that I was hardly even bothered when one of the rock moms* working curb patrol** at my kids school told me to move it along as I was saying goodbye to my son. Let it be known, I pretty much hate the rock moms. I could go on and on about my contempt but I am jovial today, so I will save it for another entry.

I said Shazzam!

*rock mom (n.) a Mother who wears a diamond so big she can hardly lift her hand. Most often drives a huge SUV. Presumably to haul the ring.

** Curb patrol is a useful service provided by Volunteer parents where you can just pull up to the curb and drop your kids off. You sign them in and the parent(s) working curb patrol take them inside for you. Handy for days when you are running late or it is raining. I have worked curb patrol every tuesday and thursday for a year and a half. It really pisses me off when some bitchy rock mom tries to tell me how it works. I am the ONLY person who volunteers on a regular basis. I know how to do it.

current mood: giddy

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Monday, November 3rd, 2003
11:06 am - Kiss my grits.
kiss my ass2
congratulations. you are the kiss my ass happy
bunny. You don't care about anyone or anything.
You must be so proud

which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

So there. I had to change my password because Ryan got a hold of my desktop client. So. Funny.

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Sunday, November 2nd, 2003
9:49 pm - But here is the dude with whom I get it on
Oh yeah!

current mood: hungry

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9:47 pm - Here is my hot husband

current mood: thirsty

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12:28 am - Truth or Fiction
Well, another Halloween has come and gone which, of course, means the Holiday Season is now upon us. My big question of the year is this: Santa. Is it better to A. go along with the story and let the kiddies have the big fun; Or is it better to B. Tell the truth now lest your children think you are a big fat flaming panted liar later on? I just do not know. I wrestle with this year after year. So far I have gone with option A. My children place Santa in their holy trinity. In order of priority it goes: Grandparents, Santa, parents.

The problem now is that they are starting to ask questions. Like, How does Santa fit down the chimney? Or, how does santa know to go down the chimney that leads to the fireplace and not the one to the furnace exhaust pipe? These are real questions. The way I figure it, I've got another good three years before they start to get really suspicious.( In case there are any readers who are unaware, I have two boys ages three and four.) I have to assume the questions are only going to get more complicated. More than that I am going to have to come up with more believable answers than "Oh, you know, Santa has been doing this a loooong time. He knows his way around a chimney." That sort of slop may fly with a three year old but I happen to know todays five year old is pretty savvy. So where do you draw the line? I don't quite know how to explain flying livestock with out really digging myself into a hole here.

On the one hand the idea of Santa is so magical and so much a part of my childhood, I hate to deprive my kids of that. My parents used to leave sooty footprints by the fireplace and go outside and shake jingle bells around so we would think that santa had landed. We'd leave carrots for the reindeer, they would eat them stuff like that. Plus, of course, there was the added bonus (at least from my parents standpoint, a standpoint I have come to appreiciate by the way) of the "Naughty/Nice" factor. Today, I told Max not to hit his brother because "Santa is watching and christmas is just around the corner." This makes me feel guilty for several reasons, all of which I will tell you about right now. (props to Tina of pee wee's big Adventure)*

1. I should have just told him not to hit his brother because it's not nice to hit. That violence begets violence and so forth.

2. Do I really want to bring santa into the house as like a "Big Brother" figure. Down with the Man!

3. There's that whole liar, liar thing again.

So this brings me back to option B. Tell the truth now. Of course there's the warm fuzzy childhood memory arguement, but My gut feeling is that this is the right plan. I remember the day I found out. I was eight (shut up. I know.) My best friend was Jewish. She basically told me I was a dumbass and how the hell did I think a big fat man could make it around the world overnight, stopping to eat cookies along the way. A small piece of my heart crumbled that day. I get a little choked up to this day if I think about it to much. ( hold on, I got something in my eye.) At any rate, I don't want my kids to feel that. More importantly I don't want them to lose faith that I will always tell them the truth. Because other than this, I do. Mostly. (You know, like, if they walk in on a little "sumpin sumpin" accidently -only once, they were very small - I might say mommy and daddy are giving hugs and kisses or something, but that's true too.) Anyway, If I were to break it to them now, should I just be real cool about it ? Like, "You guys know Santa is just pretend right? like cartoons but it's ok to pretend about him because it's fun. " Or I could make it seem like more mystical and magical and say Like "I think that santa, even though he's not a real guy, is sort of the spirit of christmas." I guess since I don't believe in jesus it could be sort of the same. Some people believe in Jesus at christmas I believe in Santa. Neither one is going to show up but we all get a long weekend and have hot chocolate! Whee!

All of this has not helped me one bit. If there are any readers of this post, aimzilla, erinin3d I'm looking in your direction, Please leave a comment and throw down your 2/100 of a dollar. Thank you for your patience with my poor confused brain.

*It is no surprise that when you google pee wee's big adventure, your search returns a lot of porn. What is a suprise is how often Tina Turner appears on the same sites as pee wee. Were Paul Reubins and Tina Turner connected in some way in the 80's? Perhaps romantically? I'd really like to know. I'd investigate myself but I'd probably get stuck in porn-popup lockdown.

-Seasons greetings

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Monday, October 27th, 2003
12:05 pm - Fucking Goats
On saturday I went to a Built To Spill show at the Big easy. In general I don't enjoy the Big easy because I am paranoid about fire breaking out ala Great White. It's usually pretty packed with no clear path to the exits. This saturday, however, I was too busy being rocked to care about a silly little thing like asphyxiation due to smoke inhalation or being trampled. Built To Spill played a show the likes of wich have not been seen in at least three years. The were ending their six week tour by playing a hometown show. It was chock full of the old stuff and the ended with a twenty minute jam at the end of a cortez the killer cover. I heart Doug Martch.
The topper of the night though was for sure the goats. The goats? you say, is this some new band? Some new indie rock ear candy? Alas, no. They were real goats. Five of them. Being hauled down state street in the back of a trailer at midnight on a saturday. I was right behind them as I pulled into the Burger King ( you know those goats will eat anything) to pick up some french fries for Ryan. But wait! there's more. It gets better! As I am sitting there in the drive through wondering about the kind of guy who would parade his goats around town on a saturday night ( big date perhaps) , one of the goats gets up and starts gettin' it on with another goat. I KNOW!!! I though it had to be some kind of joke, but it seemed to be real. Of course, all I could think to say was Fucking Goats. Comedy gold.
Max (the four year old) just told me that if he poops a lot he could make a poop mountain. Go Max. we've all got to have a dream.
All Hail-

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Thursday, October 23rd, 2003
2:25 pm - In which I ramble endlessly
So, I am very excited because Ryan is teaching me html. Yes, that's right. That's not a typo.I am excited about html. As you may be able to see from the previous post, I was able to put a link under some text. My very best friend aimzilla showed me how, and afterwords i was crazy for code. yee-haw. this stuff works if you are smart enough to figure it out. I will use this new power well. let's start now, shall we. Link-a-palooza:

This frightens me

But I think this is HILARIOUS

So is this

In other news, I am going to try really really hard to be a better Ljer. I have slacked, and I am sorry. Especially to you Amy, since I know you are the only one who reads this anyway. that is all. I'll try to be more interesting in the future.

her majesty's a pretty nice girl-

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Wednesday, October 22nd, 2003
8:00 pm - Hold the phone.
I just need to check something here TRY CLICKING HERE

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Thursday, September 12th, 2002
12:38 pm - Stuff I was thinking about while I was watching TV last night
So how do I feel. I feel mad and sad.

I am sad for the people of NY and DC and all the families of the people aboard the doomed planes of September 11th. I am sad for the rest of us. I am sad for the people of Afghanistan and for the people of Iraq and for the people of the rest of the world who are stuck on the receiving end of revenge. I am sad for all the countless families that don't have a place to sleep because we decided to drop a bomb on them.

I am mad because people don't seem to understand that this war is not about terrorism. I am mad because if we all drove our cars less and walked and rode our bikes more and appriciated the fact that we have legs and the ability to use them there might not be a war at all. Terrorism is a thinly veiled battle cry. This war is about preserving our culture and our love of oil. After 9.11 all you ever heared was "If you don't go spend money or drive your gas sucking SUVs around or fly your flags or wear your Wal-mart t-shirts printed up by the millions especially for the occasion then the terrorists have already won." Well the the terrorists didn't win. But not because of our shirts or our flags or our SUVs. The terrorists lose. We all lose. We lose because we didn't get the point. Three thousand people died and the world stood still for a week but we missed the point. TRL went back on the air and Carson Daly cried for a minute, but then he got his own late night talk show and it was all good again. Meanwhile the "terrorists" are trying to figure out how to feed their families with a ten pound bag of flour and some dry rice that was dropped from the sky, courtsey of their "American friends," while their kitchens are lying behind them, a smoldering pile of rubble.

I am mad because a year after this, the greatest tragedy ever to occur on American soil, we are being force fed the whole event again on every channel and every radio station and every newspaper. Other than those with a macabre facination with death and human suffering, I cannot imagine that anyone really feels the need to relive that day. It's all too fresh.

My heart aches for the families that lost loved ones that day. My heart aches that the spirit of unity that we felt in the days and weeks following September 11th were so easily tossed aside when we went back to our regularly scheduled programming.

And now it's back. The flags are at half mast today and the t-shirts are worn with pride. There are rallies and tolling bells and Airforce jets are flying overhead. But I know that tomorrow the t-shirts will be in the clearance bin at Wal-mart and Carson Daly will be right where we left him and Hallmark will start planning how they can capitialize on this great, untapped market that is September 11th.

I am not an "American Taliban" but I can see why they hate us so much.

Sometimes I hate us too.

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Saturday, July 13th, 2002
4:57 pm - Journalist ,eh,

kind of LJer are you?

I suppose it's true, I never was really a diariest. Even when I was younger. I tried on several occasions to keep a "diary" filled with all the drama and angst of my youth, but it never really worked out. I ended up burying them under a tree in the back yard of our rental house in a private ceramony. The girl who lived next door found them and has never let me live it down. Ever. I can only take comfort in the fact that she has become a bitter and obnoxious person. I see her now and again. She works at a nearby coffee shop where I stop in every so often and make her re-heat my muffins and give me free refills on my travel mug. Sometimes, when I am feeling particularly vindictive, I take my kids and let them run amok. I don't tip her. revenge is sweet.

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Thursday, July 11th, 2002
9:43 am - not entirely sure where this is going to end up.
I just joined the days of our lives community and I'm not sure if this post is going to end up there, or in my own journal. Just in case I'll discuss the merits of DOOL as I see them. As far as I am concerned days is the best show on television. I have been a fan since 1986 and can provide you with just about any history or trivia you might want to know. I know the recipe for Alice Horton's Doughnuts, and the Brady Pub clam chowder. I was there when Sammy and Eric were born...14 years ago (what kind of sense does that make?). I have risen from the ashes along with Stefano and the rest of the Dimeras. I would like to know why they totally dropped the kristen/susan/baby Elvis story line as if we wouldn't notice. Every day from one to two in the afternoon I put my children to bed and go to Salem. I retch at the geriatric love of John and Marlena, and frankly Bo and Hope are no spring chickens either. I'd like to see Chloe and Brady hook up, although their sappy little romance gets a bit tiresome. If indeed this does find it's way to the days page I'd love to meet some other afternoon real-life escapees. If not, I'm pretty sure Amy is the only one reading my regular journal anyway, and she knows how I feel about it. I keep her informed, whether she cares or not.

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Wednesday, July 10th, 2002
12:11 pm - so, I am really wishing queenalisha wasn't taken
That's ME!! Turns out there is another queenalisha in the form of a nineteen year old from Las Vegas. nineteen. Harrumph. Had I known it was going to be so difficult to change user names I might have re-thought the whole mammad handle, too. (Read Momma D). So my kids just spilled half a bag of sugar on the kitchen floor and now my feet are gritty. No matter how much you sweep that stuff never comes all the way up. I am still feeling my way around this live journal. But for now I must go as nap-time is looming, and Days of Our Lives is starting in 30. Oh, how I long to know what will happen next with Belle and Shawn D and their super hot, scantily clad extra terrestrials.

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